Sex – Marriage – It’s All Part of the Spirit World’s Plan

spiritA group of spirits, with the spirit Kathleen, who is the main connection between the group and the Rev. G. Vale Owen, discussed the role of sex and marriage. They presented that we all must combine four aspects of sex roles and characteristics:

 “Now we turn to detail more especially and speak of that outcome of marriage, the human unit, male or female as the case may be.

He is born, you will note, of fourfold element. There is the male and female element of the sire, and also the female and male element of the dame. In the father the dominant expression is that of masculinity, in the mother that of femininity. By the incorporation of these four elements, or rather four aspects of one element, or more nearly still these two aspects and two other sub-aspects of one thing, in the one person of the offspring, there is first multiplied and then unified once again some of these variations which are the outer expression of the inner principle of sex.

 So he begins to live his own life, this child of the eternities past, and to look forward to the eternities of the future.”[1]

You could read this to state we must all have a balance between feminine and masculine qualities. And that a woman possessing masculine characteristics expresses them differently than a man does … and vice versa. Hence, we must learn all four sides of a two-sided equation.

As we travel forward in our quest to ascend the ladder of spirituality and goodness, we need to combine the outstanding qualities of each aspect. There are other Spiritist writing which back this up, as well as reports from near death experiences.

Yvonne had a near death experience in which she felt she personally encountered Jesus. If the spiritportrait-of-jesus wasn’t Jesus, then at the least it was a high spirit that has been ascending for eons. She was transported to a heavenly location. Yvonne, in the middle of a luminous fog, looked around. “Suddenly from a distance I saw something.”[2] Yvonne reported in her YouTube interview. She described what she saw; “Imagine a flame of fire, instead of fire it was energy. Imagine a face”.[3]

She knew it was Jesus, she said, “He engulfed me with his body that was made of energy”.[4] Yvonne felt what she had never felt before – pure love. She tells us what she thought as she first embraced the high spirit she recognized as Jesus:

“I knew it was Jesus”

“He engulfed me with his body that was made of energy”

“At that moment I felt the love of a father and a mother blend in one”

“It was not a he and not a she”

“It was one”

“I think on earth love has been divided into a male type of love and a female type of love”

“Jesus has blended in both”[5]

What Yvonne identified in Jesus is what is in store for us. As we ascend in the hierarchy of spirits, becoming more loving, caring, fraternal, and wise, we begin to combine the masculine and feminine sides more completely. This is part of our reason for incarnating on earth. We must be trained in Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000038_00061]active and passive behavior, in bold action and in quiet sympathy.

You can read all of Yvonne’s account of her near death experience and others, in my book The Spirit World Talks to Us.

The spirit realm, under the direction of Jesus, has fashioned our planet to train us in both aspects of male and female behavior and characteristics. And they used the differentiation of the sexes to not only serve as training for us in countless lives, but also to push civilization to a higher plane.

The Reason for Sex

“The control center of sex is not located in the dense body, but in the sublime organization of the soul”[6]

I read this in the book In the Greater World. It is a book written by the spirit Andre Luiz, who died and found himself in the Lower Zone. Eventually he was rescued by spirit workers in the celestial city of Nosso Lar. He became a member of various groups to assist humans and spirits still tied to earth. He wrote a series of books about his life in the spirit world through the great medium Francisco (Chico) C. Xavier.

I was intrigued by the passage about sex. If there was anything about us that seemed to be rooted in our dense primitive and often brutish bodies it is sex!

But Andre Luiz’s mentor tell us what sex means in the higher spiritual regions and how it molds us here on earth.

“Down on earth, men and women are distinguished according to specific organic features. As for us, in transit to higher spiritual regions, the remembrance of our earthly existence is still preponderant. We know, however, that in such higher regions femininity and masculinity are characteristics of souls that are highly passive or openly active.”[7]

Hence sex is an attitude, or more succinctly an attribute. Attributes that we acquire throughout our many lives. He describes this process further:

“Consequently, we know that, in the variations of our experiences, we gradually acquire divine qualities such as determination and tenderness, strength and humility, power and gentleness, intelligence and sentiment, initiative and intuition, wisdom and love, until we attain our supreme balance in God.”[8]

As we progress we learn to balance the active and passive sides of our nature. Every spirit is unique and all will have different degrees, but all who ascend into purity will achieve a balance.

The mentor tells us that the human race started out like animals, where the male possessed theCavemanDraggingWoman1 female, but given millennia of slow evolution the combinations of woman-mother and man-father migrated to the concept of the tribe, the primitive shelter changed into the home and the quest for wild game transformed into the farm. From this, the spark of sex, civilization arose, the wooden club of the caveman became the gift of flowers to his love.

We all must travel this road to prefect balance. The mentor describes our journey:

“Sometimes, humans take years, centuries and many lifetimes to go from one level to the next. Few individuals are able to keep themselves above the fray with the equilibrium that is required. Very few have crossed the territory of ownership without battling cruelly with the monsters of selfishness and jealousy, to which they have completely surrendered. A small number travel the road of tenderness without shackling themselves for a long stretch to the many chains of exclusiveness. And sometimes, only after millennia of excruciating, purifying trials, can the soul reach the luminous zenith of sacrifice for its final deliverance in route to new cycles of unification with the Divinity.”[9]

BookCover-ReincarnationTherefore, we own no one, we direct no one, we merely love, cherish and help one another. Always providing feedback for the spiritual benefit of our partner. Each one of us learning to weigh our active and passive sides. Learning to know when one is better than the other in different circumstances.

Learn more about the spirit world and how we reincarnate into many different physical bodies and how we sometimes change gender – read my book – The Case for Reincarnation – Your Path to Perfection.

Even Further Back

Given how we all accept the need for two sexes to carry on the human race, our belief in the inevitability of a male and female form and function is absolute. But it is not – it was a conscious decision – one made for a purpose.

G. Vale Owen was told:

“We speak first to you of Marriage as of the union of two personalities in creative faculty. The people take it as quite in the ordinary course of things that sex should be, and also that sex should be complete in blend of male and female. But it was not of essential necessity that this SORROW-AND-JOY-1-6should be, humanity might have been hermaphrodite. But far away beyond the beginnings of this present eternity of matter, when the Sons of God were evolving form, in its ideal conception, they took counsel together and afterwards decreed that one of the laws which should guide their further work should be, not so much a division of the race into two sexes, as you and earth philosophy have it, but rather that sex should be one of the new elements which should enter into the further evolution of being when being should shortly enter into matter, and so take form. But form endowed personality with individuality, and so the element personality, by evolution of concrete form, issued in its complement of persons. But as from one element persons came, so sex is unity composed of two species. Man and woman form one sex, as flesh and blood form one body.”[10]

Therefore, while the physical aspect of sex is part of our experience, the more subtle personality traits, and graduations of aggressive and passive behaviors is all part of our training.

Hence, as we are told in The Spirits Book, by Allan Kardec, in our many lives, we may come back as a male or female:

  1. Does a spirit, when existing in the spirit-world prefer to be incarnated as a man or a woman?

“That point in regard to which a spirit is indifferent, and which is always decided in view of the trials which he has to undergo in his new corporeal life.”

Further in The Spirits Book, we are told that marriage is a union of two spirits – there is no mention of male and female. Therefore, marriage is two spirits assisting each other to understand the different aspects and to be sympathetic to those differences. To help the other, to learn from the other, so as one unit they may both improve.

This point is enforced by what the spirit Kathleen passed on to the Rev. G. Vale Owen:

“Two great principles which are included in the Unity of Godhead were made to appear as two separate things in order that those two principles might be studied in detail by those who were not competent to study them as One. But when the male considers the female he is but getting a more clear understanding of a part of himself, and so when the female reasons on the male. For as they were not separate in the eternities of development which went before this present eternity of matter and form, so the two elements shall become one again in those eternities which shall come after.”[11]

The spirit world, the High Lords of our system, who are the messengers and implementors of the Word of God, knew that for us to understand the duality of natures, we needed the problem broken down. It is simple heuristics, a plan to present the need to explore all aspects of our behavior in such a way that we live the solution … throughout many lives. It is like tricking your children to play a game in which they are accumulating new knowledge; enjoying themselves and learning at the same time, otherwise they would have resisted.

While we may have started out as asexual personalities, with no need to reproduce from the mixture of two parents; in our present intellectual and social level of maturity, we require a course in comprehending the many facets of our behavior. Our sojourn will result in newfound awareness:

“By this experience of the two in unity, the perfected human being, ages hence, in other higher worlds of onward press towards the state of Being consummate, man shall have come to the knowledge how it is possible in loving other and giving to other by denying of self he is loving himself the more and but the bountifully giving to himself by that same denying of self.”[12]

We shall eventually become what Yvonne saw during her near death experience. A glorious mixture of love and kindness. In fact, the spirits who spoke with the Rev. G. Vale Owen, in 1917, revealed the same aspect about Jesus:

“So of the blend of the two elements, spiritually as bodily, there is born a Third Who withinJesus-greatLord Himself unites these two elements in His one Person. The Lord Jesus was the perfect Son of Humankind and His nature, spiritually considered, is a blend of the male and female virtues in duly equal parts.”[13]

There you have it, our daily dramas trying to understand our partners is all part of a grand plan. A plan so perfect, we don’t even realize that we are in deep study while we try to figure out how to live with each other. Therefore, go forth, unafraid, learn the hard or the easy way what your spouse desires, why they desire it, and what motivates their desires – because the insights you gather will be The Problem is the Solutionused for your ascension up the spiritual ladder.

Each hurdle placed in front of us is there for a reason. It may not be apparent to us, in the midst of our daily dramas, but suffice to say, that it is one small force that diverts us from a straight path and onto the highway of learning and eventual perfection. Learn why we have our difficulties and how we should react during our trying times by reading my book The Problem is the Solution: 7 Life Complications Sent to Test and Teach You.


If you have read Heaven and Below – Book 1 of Spiritism, now read Spirits and the Spirit Universe – Book 2 of Spiritism. The schools, colleges, and universities of heaven will be described, as well as how one travels from one level to the next. Spirit attributes and the powers you will possess when you return to the spirit realm will be illuminated. Learn about the spirit universe, read my second of a series of three books, Spirits and the Spirit Universe.


Brian Foster was a reluctant entry to Spiritism. He grew up with a vague sense of God and a higher power, but only through events he could not explain did he discover that there is indeed a world beyond ours, an “other side” as the Druids called it.

Brian works in Information Technology and has a BSCS degree and an MBA. For many this should make him a rational human being and not one who believes in spirits. On the contrary, it is what he believes to be an accumulation of evidence that has, thankfully, brought him to realize that we are part of a bigger plan.

Brian Foster has a blog at


Works Cited

INADS NDE Radio. (2016, July 30). Meeting With Jesus – Near Death Experience – Christian NDE. Retrieved from YouTube:

Kardec, A. (2010). The Spirits Book. Guildford, UK: White Crow Books.

Owen, R. G. (2012). The Life Beyond the Veil. Pahrump, NV: Square Circles Publishing.

Xavier, F. C. (2009). In the Greater World. Brasilia (DF), Brazil: International Spiritist Council.


[1] Owen R. G. Life Beyond the Veil, Squares Circles Publishing, pp. 378-379

[2] INADS NDE Radio, “Meeting with Jesus – Near Death Experience – Christian NDE”, n.d., (accessed July 30, 2016)

[3] INADS NDE Radio, “Meeting with Jesus – Near Death Experience – Christian NDE”, n.d., (accessed July 30, 2016)

[4] INADS NDE Radio, “Meeting with Jesus – Near Death Experience – Christian NDE”, n.d., (accessed July 30, 2016)

[5] INADS NDE Radio, “Meeting with Jesus – Near Death Experience – Christian NDE”, n.d., (accessed July 30, 2016)

[6] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 158

[7] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 158

[8] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 158

[9] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 159

[10] Owen R. G. Life Beyond the Veil, Squares Circles Publishing, pp. 374-375

[11] Owen R. G. Life Beyond the Veil, Squares Circles Publishing, p. 375

[12] Owen R. G. Life Beyond the Veil, Squares Circles Publishing, p. 376

[13] Owen R. G. Life Beyond the Veil, Squares Circles Publishing, p. 376

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