Family Problems? There is a Reason

By Brian Foster


familyproblemsAre you experiencing problems with some of your family and have no reason why? You have tried everything and they still just don’t like you? Or worse, are they are nice to you and you can’t help yourself but to reject them? There is a reason, and as part of your trials on earth, you have been reborn with past adversaries, it may have been a rival, a person who assaulted you, or a myriad of reasons for that indistinct feeling of revulsion.


We are all here on earth for a reason. According to Spiritism, codified by Allen Kardec, in his book, The Spirits Book, we come to our physical bodies to improve ourselves, in our quest to become better souls. With the goal of someday to be pure spirits and cast-off our need for reincarnation forever. However, in the meantime, here we are. And, most amazingly, here with people that we have known before in a previous life. The Spirits Book tells us;

204. As we have had many existences, do our relationships extend beyond our present existence?

“It cannot be otherwise. The succession of their corporeal existences establishes among spirits

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a variety of relationships which date back from their former existences; and these relationships are often the cause of sympathies or antipathies which you sometimes feel towards persons whom you seem to meet for the first time.”[1]

Hence, like the episodes of a family drama on TV, we continue our plot line from one life to the next. As an example, in a lecture given by Geraldo Lemos Neto, he tells of the cast of characters in the book, Fifty Years After, inspired by the spirit Emmanuel, psychographed by Francisco C. Xavier, which describes a noble Roman, his life at the time fifty years after Christ came and the women who vied for his affections. One woman in particular, who loved him deeply and attempted to take him from his wife, is our main subject. Geraldo tells us that in a successive life, this woman was reborn as his sister. While, she was a very good and loving person, every woman her brother attempted to have a relationship with, was always found lacking, and when he did marry, his wife was continually inadequate. The Spirit world deliberately placed her in a sibling relationship with the man she had desired throughout hundreds of years, so she could learn the value of caring for others above herself, self-discipline, and restraint in her emotions.

Love Triangle and Murder

AndLifeGoesOnReincarnation can also play a part in our current life. In the book, And Life Goes On, by the spirit Andre Luiz, psychographed by Francisco C. Xavier, a young man, Caio Serpa, murdered a rival, Tulio, for his first wife. While his wife, Evelina, was dying, Caio took up a relationship with Vera. Caio married Vera soon after Evelina’s death. The spirit world worked to bring about the reunion of Caio and his victim Tulio.

As part of the plan for Tulio’s next life they wanted him to be reborn as Caio’s son, so the two could be reconciled. But they started the process very subtlety;

“Tulio was taken to Vera one night when Serpa wasn’t home so that he could get to know a bit about the woman who would receive him in her arms as a mother.

As he watched her sewing in her Vila Mariana home, Tulio immediately felt drawn to her. He noticed her gentle face, the serene eyes of someone who had suffered much, and her skillful hands at work. Enchanted, he took in the peaceful atmosphere.”[2]

Notice, they did not reveal who would be the father to Tulio. The spirit world works to free everyone from the petty hatreds and crimes of passions. Realizing this, the Bible verse, such as;

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” [Luke 6:27-36]

Makes much more sense now, doesn’t it, for in the awareness of reincarnation, we understand the long-term plan. In our quest for moral perfection, we must shed our thirst for revenge, our targeted hatred and be calm in the knowledge, that when a person does a wrong, the all-powerful natural laws of God, will enable that person to pay for their deeds and eventually better themselves. It is not up to us to be the judge. It is up to us to be reconciled and compassionate to those who didn’t know any better when they committed their wrongs
Next, the spirit helper implants the idea of motherhood into Vera;

“How I would love to have a son!” she thought, “How I long to be a mother!” She was awaiting this blessing from the Almighty; he surely wouldn’t forget her! … Moreover, fully aware that her husband desired an heir for the future, in her daydream she intentionally prayed to God for a boy!”[3]

Taking care of both sides of the equation, the plan for Tulio’s rebirth is complete. The beginning of a new life would heal the old wounds and the circle of karma will start to turn. The expected outcome of the placement of the victim into the perpetrator’s house would be;

“Based on the truth of what they had been promised, Tulio would reincarnate with Caio Serpa as his father, totally magnetized by his mother’s devotion, so that he could be around his former adversary once again and transform resentment into love by means of the therapy of forgetfulness.”[4]

Will the father-son relationship be easy? Probably not, since deep down in Tuilo’s instincts he will feel a tinge of resentment toward his father. This will have to be solved by the both of them, mainly by Caio, since he is the father and the guide for his son.

A Crime for Money

In the Greater WorldSome relationships that are brought over from previous existences can be very complicated. But, the spirit world always delivers justice, as you shall see. In the book, In the Greater World, by the spirit Andre Luiz, and psychographed by Francisco C. Xavier, there is a man, Frabricio, who betrayed his father’s last wishes and stole the entire inheritance from his brothers, leaving them penniless. On his deathbed, we view the following scene, where Fabricio calls for his grandson, little Fabricio;

“My little Fabricio, I want you to pray for me when I die.”

The boy didn’t hesitate.

He knelt down right there and reverently said the Lord’s Prayer.When the prayer ended, the sick man asked with moist eyes:

“Dear child, don’t forget to pray for me when I die.”

The boy, now standing, hugged his grandfather and replied, weeping discreetly: “You’re not going to die!”

Appearing relieved, the old man responded to the affectionate gesture, gazed at his grandson and asked with a strange brilliance in his eyes: “Little Frabricio, do you believe that God forgives sinners like me?”

The tearful and confused boy answered: “Grandpa, I believe that God forgives all of us.”

Displaying the anxieties that populated his soul, he asked further: “Even a man who betrays his father’s trust and steals from his brothers?”

The grandson hesitated, incapable of understanding the full extent of that intentional question. But wishing to please the patient any way he could, he uttered with complete childlike simplicity; “I think God always forgives.”

“That’s what I wanted to know,” stressed the elderly man, more relieved.[5]

Here is a man, a criminal, who lived out a long life in luxury, surrounded by a loving family. Who wouldn’t think the he has escaped all punishment and that his brothers and father were more in a long line of unavenged victims.

He won’t escape punishment and the wronged parties will get their repayments. For little Fabricio is actually his grandfather’s father, as the book explains;

“The boy is Fabricio’s former father. He has returned to the family of his criminal son through the blessed gates of reincarnation. He is his only grandson, and later he will assume control of the material inheritance of the family – the property that was his in the first place. The Law never sleeps.”[6]

Not only will the money revert to its rightful owner, but Fabricio will have to go through his own trials even after death, as is explained;

“With the residues of his criminal actions in his mind, right after abandoning his physiological domicile, our sick friend will experience the results of his failure for a long time. This will continue up to the point where suffering will finally remove the malignant elements that poison his soul.”[7]

Therefore, no one goes unpunished. Perhaps at some future date, Fabricio may be reincarnated back into his family, or they may leave him behind, as the family advances their spirituality and Fabricio remains mired in his materialistic desires.


The combinations and permutations of concurrent and related lives of intersecting people over eons are endless. What exactly are our precedent relationships to our extend families is unknown to us, but this much is certain, over the eons of time that we have been perfecting ourselves, we have built up a large reservoir of loved ones. People that we naturally gravitate toward, precisely according to the Law of Affinity, where those of the same level of goodness and understanding are drawn together.

For the vast majority of us, these allies are more numerous than our adversaries. Therefore, seek out BookCover-Reincarnationyour estranged relations and attempt to come to an agreement, an understanding, and let there be eternal peace between you, because for this reason, that person was chosen to be in your circle. To fail may require you to exist with the same antipathy again in the next life.

A more detailed explanation of the process of reincarnation is in my book, The Case for Reincarnation – Your Path to Perfection.

Remember, that you have friends here on earth, living besides you, as they have done lifetimes before. You also have friends who have moved on, but are still watching over you and are interested in your advancement. For as The Spirits Book says;

488. Have the relatives and friends who have gone before us into the other life more sympathy for us than spirits who are strangers to us?

“Undoubtedly they have; and they often protect you as spirits, according to their power.”

– Are they sensible of the affection we preserve for them?

“Very sensible; but they forget those who forget them.” [8]

Let the help you are given percolate through your soul to give you strength during times of frustration with others. Know always, that if you ask for the power to forgive, it will be granted.


Brian Foster has a BSCS degree and a MBA. He has worked in R&D for medical device corporations and in IT for large financial institutions. Brian Foster has a blog at

Works Cited
Kardec, A. (2010). The Spirits Book. Guildford, UK: White Crow Books.
Xavier, F. C. (2009). And Life Goes On. Brasilia (DF), Brasil: International Spiritist Council.
Xavier, F. C. (2009). In the Greater World. Brasilia (DF), Brazil: International Spiritist Council.

[1] Kardec, A., The Spirits Book, White Crow Books, Ques. 204, p. 157
[2] Xavier, Francisco C., And Life Goes On, EDICEI, p. 225
[3] Xavier, Francisco C., And Life Goes On, EDICEI, p. 226
[4] Xavier, Francisco C., And Life Goes On, EDICEI, p. 226
[5] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 178
[6] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 178
[7] Xavier, Francisco C., In the Greater World, EDICEI, p. 179
[8] Kardec, A., The Spirits Book, White Crow Books, Ques. 488, p. 286

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