Reincarnation – Existing Family Bonds are Strengthen through Multiple Lives

By Brian Foster


HappyFamilyPeople wonder do we have many families, mothers, fathers, and so on as we travel through multiple lives. How do we manage having a menagerie of relatives while in the spirit world? The answer is we don’t; read on and find out why.


extendedfamilyMost of us love our families and our fondest wish is to be reunited with them in the spirit world. We may ponder what life would be like in a heavenly place with our loved ones. Then we think about reincarnation and realize that we may have had multiple families, many different mothers and fathers, and who knows how many brothers and sisters. So, is there a legion of relatives waiting for us, so many we would need a telephone book size address book to keep them straight? Allan Kardec’s book, The Gospel According to Spiritism, gives us the answer;

“Family ties are not destroyed by reincarnation, as certain persons believe; on the contrary, they are strengthened and become tighter.”[1]

How can that be? How can we travel through countless centuries and somehow remain involved in our close family circle? The answer, like the answers to many other questions, lies in the Law of Affinity. Whereby, souls who are at the same level, mutual affection and have similar tastes naturally gather together.

Law of Affinity

The Law of Affinity is actually one of the great filters, or more aptly, sorters, of the universe. Where souls more interested in doing harm are collected in darken areas, souls who have respect and admiration for the achievements of each other are also grouped with one another in celestial cities. Allan Kardec explains how affiliated souls tend to stay with each other;

“These spirits happy at being together, seek out one another. Incarnation separates them only momentarily, because after their reentry into the errant state they meet again like friends who have returned from a journey. Frequently, they even follow one another into incarnation, wherein they are reunited in the same family or the same circle, working together for their mutual advancement.”[2]

Osel Tenzin with HHDLThe tight cluster of souls will watch out for each other. While some are incarnates on earth, others will look on from high and help guide the spirits going through their trials. Each helps everyone in the group to advance together. As they become purer, their friendship becomes more concrete, as their bodies divest themselves of matter. Petty jealousies and selfishness doesn’t disrupt their relationships.

Of course there are different types of family relationships, with those that we are stuck together because of a purely physical connection. Or a person we marry, not because of true spiritual affection, but of a sensual or monetary attraction. These are people who have been selected for us in order to experience the trials, that, need I remind you, we have selected ourselves. We may not like them very much, but I can guarantee we will learn some hard lessons from them and for that we should be grateful. As Allan Kardec states, “There are no lasting affections except spiritual ones; physical affections die out with the cause that gave rise to them; but that cause no longer exists in the world of spirits, whereas the soul exists forever”.[3]

Therefore, when we feel a special kinship to select members of our family, most probably because we are united in the spiritual world, we should feel safe since they will always have our best interest atDysfunctional_Family-1 heart. On the other hand, those relations where we feel mistrustful are usually put there for one of two reasons. First, they may be of an inferior level and require the love and guidance of an advanced family to assist them to improve their position. Who hasn’t seen families where all of the children seem well brought up by good parents, except one, the black sheep. Now you have an explanation, the parents, volunteered to help a poor soul improve his or herself and in some cases weren’t successful.

Secondly, they may be located with us as a trial. Some poor soul that we have done wrong in the past and now introduced to us as a means of reconciliation is with us to repair the damage we have committed. Hopefully, a complete reconciliation will occur and whatever past recriminations that had existed will now be forgotten. Allan Kardec backs up this thought with;

“God, whose laws are all supremely wise, does nothing useless. Through reincarnation on the same globe, God has willed that the same spirits come in contact with one another again for the chance to repair their mutual offenses. Because of their previous relationships, God wishes furthermore to establish family ties on a spiritual basis and to support the principles of solidarity, fraternity and equality as a natural law.”[4]

Hence, have no worries about our loved ones, while there may be more than you originally thought, you have the capacity to love many. And to love with a purity of spirit, unencumbered with physical tethers, for your love is not based on any material calculation, but on shared experiences and beliefs, a pure affection. Look forward to reuniting with your friends in the spirit world, to talk about what BookCover-Reincarnationyou learned and how you failed. Together, you can plan out your next physical adventure, with the knowledge that you will have support from heaven and on the ground.

A more detailed explanation of the process of reincarnation is in my book, The Case for Reincarnation – Your Path to Perfection.

If you wish to understand more about Spiritism, read Spiritism 101 – The 3rd Revelation, so you may discover for yourself why you are onSpirit-101-Front-small earth and why you are traveling through the trials that have been assigned to you.

Brian Foster has a BSCS degree and a MBA. He has worked in R&D for medical device corporations and in IT for large financial institutions. Brian Foster has a blog at
Works Cited
Kardec, A. (2008). The Gospel According to Spiritism. Brasilia (DF): International Spiritist Council.

[1] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 86
[2] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 87
[3] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 87
[4] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, pp. 92-92


If this really happens is it sure that I may reincarnated with my same parents.Being a kid I am very keen to know cause I don’t want to lose my parents.These days I can’t sleep thinking about this and I cry


    Don’t be nervous about the future. Concentrate on the present and be the best person you can be. The spirit world will make sure that you shall be in the best place for you in this life and the next. It is wonderful that you love your parents so much. That love will translate into future events.


I have come to the conclusion, through many years of therapy, that my entire family had played a role in ostracising me as the ‘black sheep’. I now am much more at peace having no contact with them and do not harbour any ill will against them. I am truly hoping to not reincarnate with them but I am also not close to anyone else either. I don’t know who will even meet me in the afterlife or why I am utterly alone in this life. I fear remaining alone forever!


    You have been given a difficult trial. Most certainly you have friends watching you and waiting for your return. I have seen your type of trial. I could be wrong, but in my opinion this is usually caused by some great wrong you did to a group of people. Now the spirit world is trying to give them and you a chance to reconcile. It is up to them to learn to be nice or not. If they can’t then leaving them to their own devices is perfectly reasonable. I would only say if some of them desire to be civil again, don’t turn them away. But that doesn’t mean you have to let them take advantage of you. This is just my humble opinion.


I have a unique variation on this. In my early 20’s (40 years ago) my partner & I were deeply in love. It was love at first sight & a soulmate connection. My partner became pregnant & we agreed to an abortion because we were so young & had no money. We also has family opposition due to racial differences. She is Chinese & I am Caucasian. My partner became so beset with remorse after this that she left me although it wasn’t my idea to have the abortion. I was truly heartbroken and have never gotten over my love for her. I tried to reunite without success & eventually had to get on with my life as it was breaking me up. I eventually married someone else but still could not get over my one true love. My wife was not easy to live with & after 10 years I sought out my Soulmate & we had never forgotten each other & both still felt that we were each others one true love. We vowed to come back together but shortly thereafter my wife became pregnant with our first child. I could not leave her under these circumstances so the union between my soulmate & I did not happen. I told her I loved her as much as ever & that we would reunite in later life. Fast forward 40 years. I have 2 children one of which struggled with anxiety & anorexia for 7 years. I devoted myself to saving her as she could easily have died through this & was successful. She is highly intelligent has just completed her Masters & has her life back on track with the help of yoga & meditation. I spent years in hospital wards seeing her through this & helping her complete her studies through all of this. This meant that my pledge to return to my one true love could not happen as I wanted. A year ago a mutual friend told me that my one true love had cancer & did not have long to live & gave me her phone number. I contacted her straight away & we both realised we loved each other just as we had done from the first day we met. We lived in different cities but corresponded intensely through text. I wanted to go to her but she was with someone else & only had 8 weeks to live. She told me she was afraid of meeting the soul of our aborted daughter when she passed over because of what we had done so I contacted the soul of our daughter Lucretia through a medium friend of mine (she came through instantly) & she made it clear that she loves us, she knows we love each other & that we have always been fated to reunite in the after life & she has been waiting for us. She said she took the decision to Influence us to have the abortion because she knew we could not handle it at that time. My one true love passed over weeks later in peace & after a month I connected with her through my medium friend. She was still in Limbo & did not want to go to the light because she said wanted to be with me & help me. She was at my house most of this time. I encouraged her to go to the light which she did a few weeks later telling me when she did through the frenetic flashing of lights in my bathroom. Our daughter Lucretia was there to meet her & they are now never apart. They make their presence known to me every morning & evening & I suspect are with me all the time. I see my medium friend once a month & we able to talk directly to each other. I have a serious heart condition myself & do not expect to last longer than another year or so. After I have arrived on the other side & we have had time together there I have proposed that my one true love & I reincarnate together first & meet & marry early & that Lucretia follow after that as our child. They like the idea & we will talk more on it when I join them. Interestingly both my true love & our daughter tell me that they were both first time souls but that I have had previous incarnations. Because of this they need to reincarnate. Lucretia is particularly keen to do so. This makes me wonder how we can be soulmates if they have only had one incarnation. I don’t have the answer but I know we are soulmates. I am blessed to have this divine union & unique & beautiful love.


    Peter, your story is extremely interesting. Please accept my humble notions about what you wrote. First, ion reading your account it seems that the spirit world deliberately wanted you and your soulmate to be apart in this life. I have read about this before. While you are great together you both needed to achieve some personal growth apart. Second, the two spirits awaiting you are not new spirits. You are correct in thinking this. We are on a planet of atonement. First they would have to travel through many lives to get to this level. They are unaware of this because the spirit Realm doesn’t allow past memories for spirits who aren’t ready for them. Hence as these two wonderful souls become ready they will get their memories from past lives. God bless you and the two loving spirits who wait for you. I would like to suggest that you read about Spiritism so you can educate them when you arrive on the other side. It may seem remarkable but one doesn’t get full knowledge of everything in the spirit world with death. Even spirits need education. Thank you.


      Our daughter, Lucretia is very advanced. She has been on the other side for over 40 years. She has been waiting for us. She knows how we feel. We are a Trinity the three of us. Her color is lilac. She has been trained by experts. She has a job which is welcoming new arrivals who are confused. She is a healer. My soulmate Ruth wants to be a healer too but is having to undergo training before she can be accepted as such. It’s not easy for her. Her colour is red but she is showing signs of achieving green. My colour is blue. We truly love each other * will be together for eternity.


      That is wonderful. And you already understand that life in the spirit realm is composed of work and learning. In fact, in the different levels of heaven are there are schools, in each one, whereby spirits are accumulating new knowledge, so they can rise to the next level. Here is my article on the education system in the spirit world:


Brian, My view is that heaven is here. Right here on earth. Just in another spiritual plane. Training is undertaken in earthly forums. Not in some spiritual palace. Spirits observe & learn unseen & answer to higher councils on the other side on their progress.

Liked by 1 person

Crizel van der Schyff June 16, 2020 at 8:04 pm

When I was little I use to dream about world war 2. My mom took me to a psycatrist at one stage because I use to tell her in detail about the clothes I was wearing, thats how identified that it was world war 2. I also told them that I died from a shot wound in my stomach. I could feel the pain and used to wake up screaming in pain. I have a birthmark on my left thigh? Its brownish like dark pigmentation about 20cm x 10cm. Its so ugly that I put a tatoo over it. My dreams stopped when I got older. Im Born on 6 Feb 1978 at 16:55 in south africa. Im christian and reincarnation was never an option. My grandfather was a priest. Then my sister fell pregnant after being told that she could never have kids. Thing is, she only gave birth at 42weeks and demanded an induction. So the baby was born on 16 July 2014. My father died on 17/7/1997 at 7pm on his way to church. We were so relief that he was born not on the 17th! But I still believe he is an angel send to us. What is your thoughts about my life?


    First, I know nothing for certain, everyone and their extended family have their own threads of multiple existences over many lives. For you, your dreams could indeed be a clue as to your previous existence. Children under the age of 8 are more apt to be connected to the spirit world and hence to their previous life. as they grow older, they lose that connection. Which could have happened to you. Plus, we often have physical clues about our death in a previous life on our current body. This is because our perispirit records what happened to our previous physical body. This is why suicides who die violently frequently come back disabled. They need to have a life in order to repair their perispirit for their next life. As to your father, families reincarnate in close groups. It is quite likely that he would come back as a member of your family. But, the baby could also be a different past family member. If your father is not back in the flesh then he is looking down upon you and most probably interested in your greater good. Bless you!


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