Reincarnation – Existing Family Bonds are Strengthen through Multiple Lives

By Brian Foster


HappyFamilyPeople wonder do we have many families, mothers, fathers, and so on as we travel through multiple lives. How do we manage having a menagerie of relatives while in the spirit world? The answer is we don’t; read on and find out why.


extendedfamilyMost of us love our families and our fondest wish is to be reunited with them in the spirit world. We may ponder what life would be like in a heavenly place with our loved ones. Then we think about reincarnation and realize that we may have had multiple families, many different mothers and fathers, and who knows how many brothers and sisters. So, is there a legion of relatives waiting for us, so many we would need a telephone book size address book to keep them straight? Allan Kardec’s book, The Gospel According to Spiritism, gives us the answer;

“Family ties are not destroyed by reincarnation, as certain persons believe; on the contrary, they are strengthened and become tighter.”[1]

How can that be? How can we travel through countless centuries and somehow remain involved in our close family circle? The answer, like the answers to many other questions, lies in the Law of Affinity. Whereby, souls who are at the same level, mutual affection and have similar tastes naturally gather together.

Law of Affinity

The Law of Affinity is actually one of the great filters, or more aptly, sorters, of the universe. Where souls more interested in doing harm are collected in darken areas, souls who have respect and admiration for the achievements of each other are also grouped with one another in celestial cities. Allan Kardec explains how affiliated souls tend to stay with each other;

“These spirits happy at being together, seek out one another. Incarnation separates them only momentarily, because after their reentry into the errant state they meet again like friends who have returned from a journey. Frequently, they even follow one another into incarnation, wherein they are reunited in the same family or the same circle, working together for their mutual advancement.”[2]

Osel Tenzin with HHDLThe tight cluster of souls will watch out for each other. While some are incarnates on earth, others will look on from high and help guide the spirits going through their trials. Each helps everyone in the group to advance together. As they become purer, their friendship becomes more concrete, as their bodies divest themselves of matter. Petty jealousies and selfishness doesn’t disrupt their relationships.

Of course there are different types of family relationships, with those that we are stuck together because of a purely physical connection. Or a person we marry, not because of true spiritual affection, but of a sensual or monetary attraction. These are people who have been selected for us in order to experience the trials, that, need I remind you, we have selected ourselves. We may not like them very much, but I can guarantee we will learn some hard lessons from them and for that we should be grateful. As Allan Kardec states, “There are no lasting affections except spiritual ones; physical affections die out with the cause that gave rise to them; but that cause no longer exists in the world of spirits, whereas the soul exists forever”.[3]

Therefore, when we feel a special kinship to select members of our family, most probably because we are united in the spiritual world, we should feel safe since they will always have our best interest atDysfunctional_Family-1 heart. On the other hand, those relations where we feel mistrustful are usually put there for one of two reasons. First, they may be of an inferior level and require the love and guidance of an advanced family to assist them to improve their position. Who hasn’t seen families where all of the children seem well brought up by good parents, except one, the black sheep. Now you have an explanation, the parents, volunteered to help a poor soul improve his or herself and in some cases weren’t successful.

Secondly, they may be located with us as a trial. Some poor soul that we have done wrong in the past and now introduced to us as a means of reconciliation is with us to repair the damage we have committed. Hopefully, a complete reconciliation will occur and whatever past recriminations that had existed will now be forgotten. Allan Kardec backs up this thought with;

“God, whose laws are all supremely wise, does nothing useless. Through reincarnation on the same globe, God has willed that the same spirits come in contact with one another again for the chance to repair their mutual offenses. Because of their previous relationships, God wishes furthermore to establish family ties on a spiritual basis and to support the principles of solidarity, fraternity and equality as a natural law.”[4]

Hence, have no worries about our loved ones, while there may be more than you originally thought, you have the capacity to love many. And to love with a purity of spirit, unencumbered with physical tethers, for your love is not based on any material calculation, but on shared experiences and beliefs, a pure affection. Look forward to reuniting with your friends in the spirit world, to talk about what BookCover-Reincarnationyou learned and how you failed. Together, you can plan out your next physical adventure, with the knowledge that you will have support from heaven and on the ground.

A more detailed explanation of the process of reincarnation is in my book, The Case for Reincarnation – Your Path to Perfection.

If you wish to understand more about Spiritism, read Spiritism 101 – The 3rd Revelation, so you may discover for yourself why you are onSpirit-101-Front-small earth and why you are traveling through the trials that have been assigned to you.

Brian Foster has a BSCS degree and a MBA. He has worked in R&D for medical device corporations and in IT for large financial institutions. Brian Foster has a blog at
Works Cited
Kardec, A. (2008). The Gospel According to Spiritism. Brasilia (DF): International Spiritist Council.

[1] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 86
[2] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 87
[3] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 87
[4] Kardec, A., The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, pp. 92-92


If this really happens is it sure that I may reincarnated with my same parents.Being a kid I am very keen to know cause I don’t want to lose my parents.These days I can’t sleep thinking about this and I cry


    Don’t be nervous about the future. Concentrate on the present and be the best person you can be. The spirit world will make sure that you shall be in the best place for you in this life and the next. It is wonderful that you love your parents so much. That love will translate into future events.


I have come to the conclusion, through many years of therapy, that my entire family had played a role in ostracising me as the ‘black sheep’. I now am much more at peace having no contact with them and do not harbour any ill will against them. I am truly hoping to not reincarnate with them but I am also not close to anyone else either. I don’t know who will even meet me in the afterlife or why I am utterly alone in this life. I fear remaining alone forever!


    You have been given a difficult trial. Most certainly you have friends watching you and waiting for your return. I have seen your type of trial. I could be wrong, but in my opinion this is usually caused by some great wrong you did to a group of people. Now the spirit world is trying to give them and you a chance to reconcile. It is up to them to learn to be nice or not. If they can’t then leaving them to their own devices is perfectly reasonable. I would only say if some of them desire to be civil again, don’t turn them away. But that doesn’t mean you have to let them take advantage of you. This is just my humble opinion.


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